Thursday, June 3, 2010

Standing Up For Kristen Stewart in a Personal Way



I'm stepping away from my normal Rob lusting posts to talk about RAPE, and a comment that Kristen made.

In a recent interview with ELLE UK Kristen was quoted as saying this:
“It's so... The photos are so… I feel like I'm looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can't handle it,” the 20-year-old actress said when asked how she feels about being photographed in her everyday life. “I never expected that this would be my life.”

Stewart further explained that life as a celebrity can become a too intense at any given moment because the cameras can be plentiful and ruthless.

"What you don't see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction,” she lamented.

That comment has created a shit storm of epic proportions, and she's being verbally raped now by so much hate and criticism.

Katherine Hull, a spokesperson on behalf of Rape and Incest National Network (R.A.I.N.N.) thinks so, telling FOX411.com that “Kristen Stewart's comments are regrettable. Portraying a rape survivor in the film ‘Speak’ should have led her to use a more appropriate metaphor to describe the intrusive nature of the paparazzi. Rape is more than an intrusion, it's a violent crime, that causes serious long term mental health effects for victims.”

Similarly, Margaret Lazarus, the executive director of RapeIs.org, who has written extensively about violence against women, thinks Stewart may need to reevaluate her word choice the next time she sounds off to the press.

“Rape is a violation in which one has no choice. A star seeking publicity has choices,” Lazarus told Fox411.com. “Although rape involves loss of privacy, loss of privacy does not constitute rape. Let's use a little logical thinking here.”

Does this look like she's choosing this kind of treatment??? And these are not even the worst ones.



Although she may regret using that word, RAPE now, it's certainly an apt description of how her life is. Because she chooses to be an actress, and to possibly be linked with the hottest man in the world, she's asking for this?

As a rape victim, I can understand why some people would be "upset" over her word choice. But now they're raping her in the media, on blogs, twitter, and probably facebook.

Yes, rape is a violent crime. Paparazzi chasing you in a car, shoving you, shoving people to get to you, screaming obscenities at you to get a reaction is also a form of violence, and I get why she said that.

Rape is also about power, and taking that power away from the victim. Losing your right to say NO. Do you think Kristen can say NO? Do you think it would do any good if she did? Nope. Then they call her a moody bitch. Awkward. Unable to form a coherent sentence in public. Maybe it's because her skirt was too short. She asked for it right? By her choice of profession?

I said this recently on another blog, we've become stunted as a human race because we can't say anything anymore without offending this group, or that group, or this culture. When did we become so weak?

Please stop the hate...and think about how you would feel to live her life. Take away the money, the glamour, the fame, the boyfriend, and walk a mile in her shoes.

17 comments:

RPLover said...

ITA with you, sweetie. I could go on and on but I'll just leave it at that-you said it all. :)

You rock!!
Love and (((((hugs)))))

Susan said...

Thanks for sticking up for Kristen. Very well said..

Ripley said...

ITA. I can't write now I'm so pissed about having to be so PC. How do they (or we) really undertand how all of this has effected her. I've heard some of the comments from the pappz and they are disgusting. How can anyone really ignore all that? nuff said, I'm rambling.
Love ya Kristen.

17foreverlisa said...

Well said!

Lisa

Ana73 said...

Yes, you said it great. i wish you could have posted this over on the other blog. she has issued an apology and they rape group said that she does sound sincere, maybe it will die down now.

and i love that it's your blog and you could post whatever you want...i should start one too..."The Rantings of a Robsessed Married Mother" blog LOL :))

nikola6 said...

Thank you so much for that RPG.

You know, it's so easy to judge for those looking in from the outside; she's beautiful, talented, globally succesful and the most beautiful man in the world loves her. What could she possibly have to complain about?

How about the overwhelming loss of her freedom, her privacy and her anonymity? Wonderous things that most of us never give a thought to, because they are never threatened. And she never asked for this. Look at her profile, she never sought this kind of fame and so she's struggling with it. She's just barely out of her teens for god's sake. What do they want from her? She's still just a girl with some growing up to do and now she's got to do it with the whole world watching every move and most of all...JUDGING her. She's not some out of control, misbehaving Hollywood brat. She's awkward with cautostophic fame that's threatening to sweep her away like a tsunami. That's her crime and her life, not her but her life, is being raped because of it.

And god how she must love him in order to stay with him and put herself through all of this when she doesn't have to. When they both know that it's because of him, that she is having to go through all of this. They know. That right there could destroy this relationship (alot of relationships in that business have been destroyed for much less) and if they truly love each other, what a tragedy that would be for both of them. If she walked out the door and left him and started seeing a non famous, low profile guy, not all, but a lot of this unimaginable scrutiny and judgement would leave her life.

My heart goes out to her. To both of them because you have to know that what hurts her, is hurting him too. If what they have is real and if they're going to make it, then they're going to have to be very, very strong. And I've got many years on both of them, many more years of life experience under my belt and I don't think I could do this. I don't think I'm that strong.

As much as I love his work and as much as I want to see his career unfold and selfishly, I don't want him to disappear, but as soon as he's able, I want him to pick her up in his arms and run away with her. Run away from all of this for awhile.

Yes, they have so much and they've found each other, but my god, the price they are paying for that. It is so horribly unfair.

Thanks again RPG. And I'm apologize for not getting over here enough.

Love ya girl...

(sorry if I got a little emotional there. but I'm listening to Andrea Bocelli on PBS and I cannot listen to him sing and not fall to pieces...just a bit. and then writing about this particular unhappy situation that Rob and Kristen are having to deal with...well, it all just came together and...got me)

Laurie said...

Thank you for putting this up. Although the first two meanings in the dictionary refer to sexual assault the 3rd and 6th meanings are about seizing and taking by force. So, in this case, I think she did use an appropriate word to describe her situation since her freedom to move about and her privacy have been seized and taken by force. I feel for this girl and do see her a victim. She is still very young and obviously afraid and uncomfortable with the aggressive paparazzi. I feel for poor Rob too as he must feel somewhat responsible for what happens to her in this regard. If they can get through this and still love each other they have a real chance together.

Claire said...

What do you think it says about her that she's apologized for this now? First, that she is a much more AWSEMOE girl than I gave her credit for. Second, that you guys need to recognize when someone you admire has messed up. It's ok, it happens, we all say stupid things we regret. When someone you admire says something stupid, it's ok for you to call on it. You don´t have to defend someone senselessly and blindly just because they are sleeping with your crush. She is a fantastic girl, yes. But she did say something pretty lame. Good for her to admit it. Bad of you to defend her without really being objective…

Laurie said...

Claire,

Yes, she is an awesome girl and not because she may or may not be sleeping with someone. Words can be and are used in a variety of ways and contexts. I still contend that even if she did feel the need to apologize, that the use of the word (not as the act of physical sexual rape but the word rape) was correctly used in regard to the forceful taking of her freedom, privacy and safety. Violation may have been a better PC choice. I doubt you would find The Rape of the Lock (referring to a lock of hair that was taken by force) by Alexander Pope written in 1712 to be a correct use of the word either. No one can accuse Pope of misuse of the word since he is dead; however, it is a satire and some would find his use of that word offensive today.

I do not wish to get into a verbal sparring match. I am too old for this. Sorry, RPG, it’s late and I was provoked, buttons being pushed and all that.

Fiftyshadesofpink said...

ITA with you RPG.

The paparazzi behave in a rapacious manner. The still photos of what they do are bad enough, but looking at video footage of their antics might convince more people to cut Kristen some slack on this issue.

I understand that rape is an extremely emotive topic, and many more women have experienced it than the statistics show. I don't believe that she used the word in a flippant way.

How many 20 year olds are subjected to this level of scrutiny? I so feel for her, and Rob too, but mostly for her. She has so much vitriol directed her way, all because she is loved by him. Not all of the hate is coming from teens either, but from women who should be old enough to know better. It is sickening.

17foreverlisa said...

@nikola6 - I have tears streaming
down my face after reading your comment. When this started blowing out of proportion, I felt sick for her, but my mind immediately turned to Rob and how this would hurt him, too - emotionally, not professionally.

I would love to include your comment in a post on my blog but am asking your permission to do so first. RPG can vouch for me that I run a respectful blog and, of course, I would be linking to RPG's blog in my post and yours if you have one you want linked to as well. Please click on my blogger name to find me, or leave a follow-up comment here and let me know if I have your permission. If not, I understand and will leave my sincere thanks for writing such a stunningly beautiful statement here.

@RPG - Enjoyed talking to you on twitter last night before it started freezing up on me :(

rpattzgirl said...

Claire,
Thanks your alternate view, although I respectfully disagree.

I’m a little insulted that you don’t think that I, or any of my commenter’s are mature or smart enough to be able to separate our feelings for Rob, and look at her objectively. Let me assure you that we can.

She wouldn’t be in this spotlight if she weren’t dating Rob, and every move and word she makes wouldn’t be analyzed or torn to shreds. Do you know that she was actually called a bitch on a UK TV show?

Do you know that that she’s being criticized because she smiled and laughed while on the promo tour with Taylor, and raked over the coals for how easy it is for her to touch him and not Rob? She’s being accused of hurting Rob’s feelings because she’s so carefree with Taylor. She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.

Her comment has also been analyzed incorrectly as well. She didn’t say she felt like a rape victim as some have quoted her. She said when she looks at some of the pappz photos of herself, it looks like she’s looking at a rape victim. If you’ve ever looked in to the eyes of a rape victim you see fear, and a haunted dead look…does that not describe her? I think it does.

She doesn’t regret saying it, it fits. She regrets that it hurt people. There’s a difference.

rpattzgirl said...

Lisa,

Nik will be away from her PC for a few days...I'll let her know you'd like to use her comment...I'm sure she wouldn't mind....

tedgirl said...

My first comment RPG on your blog ...

Last week when she was DownUnder and saw the photo taken at the balcony of her hotel, I knew at the back of mind it will not go nicely on her. (Hence I made a comment on the other blog-I'm feeling flat, it's not the same cuz Rob is not around). At that time doesn't want to compound the situation, hence kept quiet.

It seems when Rob is around she settles a bit and doesn't react as much against the bastards (papps). (If we can just guillotine them all for the intrusions).

The papps is something she has to learn to deal with a bit of grace even how much she hates them. It's unfortunate that the papps are part and parcel of the business she's in. They have to co-exist in some ways.

A few of the ladies also mentioned something about mentoring her. Believe that would be a good idea -she's still young, she might be matured on some things but needs attention on the others.

I don't think it's mainly because Rob is in love with her causing problems with some fans. Most probably a part of it is the perception that she gives out there, voluntarily/involuntarily. Just to mention two;

a) Saw the video when she snapped at Rob when they were chased by papps inside the foyer of the Hotel in Vancouver;

b) During the Harpers Bazaar interview with beautiful photos of them both, the interviewer mentioned something, i.e Kristen "talked on top of Rob or cutting him off" when Rob is trying to find the right words to say (being more gracious) in answering questions.

Also in photos wherein she seems to be moody and news she's not easy to deal with. Even cast mates made comments about this. People can see, read and hear these things. Somehow news from the set could leaked out.

I don't want the girl to have a nervous breakdown. I hope her management team/parents do something to deal with the problem. She might need some help to ease the burden on her mentally & emotionally.

It's a pity if she and Rob would be torn apart because of this situaton. She might be a real nice girl in private but somehow she has to learn to convey positive vibes to the public.

Rob in mind and Robsten at heart. LOL

17foreverlisa said...

Thanks for the update, RPG.

nikola6 said...

Lisa...

You can copy my words. I don't mind. I'm flattered that you'd want to. And RPG knows me pretty well and if she ok's something, then go with that. But thank you.

And Claire...

I'm not defending Kristen because she's sleeping with MY boyfriend. LOL! I'm defending her because I AGREE with what she said. I believe she used the correct word. And believe me again when I say, I KNOW what rape is. And maybe she thinks she did owe an apology, but I do not. But this was PR damage control and so...she complied.

And thanks RPG...

I too felt a little insulted that I would defend her simply because she's Rob's girl. Most of us are older girls here and we've experienced just enough of life that were not that easily swayed or influenced.

And tedgirl...

You said you didn't think the criticism directed towards her is strictly because she's Rob's girl but because of just who she is; that she's snapped at him or spoke over him. Hmmm...well, they've been living together now for over a year (apart from their work related seperations) and what do you want to suppose that in that year he may have snapped at her or spoken over her or whatever? Do you think he's an angel who never puts a wrong foot forward? For god's sake, he's a man which means that on occasion I would imagine he can be a monumental pain in the ass. They all are. They're men. And women can be cranky bitches. But we love each other anyway. And that's how a real relationship works. You love each other for your attributes and you love each more for your flaws. And he is not without his flaws. Thank god. As for her professional reputation...

I have only ever heard praise and the one word you hear over and over from her peers is...sweet. She's a sweet girl.

And I disagree about why the criticism is coming her way. I asked this question on ROBsessed...why do we not hear a lot of criticism of the actresses who are a part of this franchise; Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Green or Anna Kendrick? Why is it that two actresses who have taken the most criticism are Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed? What do those two girls have in common? Correct. It is assumed that one did share his bed and another currently is. THAT is the connection. It is ALL about HIM. And if he started dating Natalie Portman tomorrow, the criticism would start in on her.

There is a level of jealousy in this fandom that is beyond strange. It is almost frightening.

Love, C. said...

Well said!